1. Understand that your partner, your children (and everyone else in the world) needs to be appreciated. Especially for the little jobs. We come to 'expect' that the normal routines get done but someone has to do them. Acknowledge the effort that it takes.
Learn to say "Thank You" more to each other. Thank your partner for passing the salt, removing your plate, making you a cup of coffee, helping with the cleanup, hanging a picture, doing the laundry, taking out the garbage. Not just for one day, but every day.
2. Offer help without having to be asked. Don't always have to be reminded or reinstructed how to do household chores.
Understand that household chores happen EVERY DAY! Just because you do it once does not mean that you are off the hook for the rest of the month or year. You have an active role in making the mess, and clutter, so do your part.
3. Tell your partner the reasons why you were attracted to them and remind 'him/her' of their good qualities. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves. If you want to see more of the positive behaviours then praise the positive behaviours.
4. Build your relationship on honesty and trust. Tell the truth and you never have to remember the lie.
5. Learn to be affectionate. Hug more. Kiss more. Sit together while watching TV. Hold hands. Be more sensual.
6. Acknowledge each other's need to be their own person, to stand on their own feet and make their own decisions.
7. Create a loving home that is a safe place that you and your partner (and children) can both express problems, doubts, fears and weaknesses without fear of rejection or punishment.
8. Learn to listen. Listening is the best part of communication. Listen to your partner's needs and wants and expectations. Listening does not mean having to fix the problem but the ability to understand that there is a problem.
9. Learn to communicate and to share what is in your heart and mind. Your partner can't solve help a problem if they do not know that the problem exists.
10. Understand and appreciate that you will not get your way all of the time. If it is not a big deal breaker, let it ride. Negotiate around your differences with respect and generosity.
11. Be honest with yourself about your personal issues that you bring into the relationship and the unrealistic expectations you may place on your partner.
12. Take time to be alone and allow your partner some space. Without the capacity to be separate and autonomous you will lack the capacity to grow and to become interesting to your partner.
Use your time for self-growth. Cultivate a hobby, take a class or learn a new skill. Any of these will give you a whole new repertoire with which to talk to your partner.
13. Maintain and build a supportive network of friends outside of the relationship. It is not possible for one relationship to meet all your needs or interests. However, do not think that it is healthy to be constantly away from your spouse. If you are always away from your spouse, you should be asking yourself 'Why'?
14. Laugh with your partner and share private jokes. Relive your funny moments over and over again. Try not to take yourself too seriously.
Are you just about to get married or thinking about getting married? Do you have heated arguments? Do you have the same argument over and over again? Do you want to learn how to have focused discussions rather than heated arguments?
What is the PRE-WEDDING COUPLES TUNE-UP PROGRAM?
The Pre-WeddingCouples Tune-Up program is very positive.
Unlike classic marriage counselling that can often focus you on what you don't like about each other, the Pre-Wedding Couples Tune-Up program instantly refocuses couples on the positive aspects of each other (and yourself).
It also teaches you positive communication (the first session) so that any subsequent conversations with each other can be much more positive.
The program also teaches you all the elements necessary for a positive relationship so that you can actually tell your partner what it is that you really need from them (and from your relationship).
Besides all that, it's fun, takes place in a comfortable environment and has a high success rate!
PRE-WEDDING COUPLES TUNE-UP PROGRAM:
The Pre-Wedding Couples Tune-Up is a two-hour session that is humorous way to look at different communication styles between men and women, relationship styles, relationship roles and ways to improve your communication styles, compatibility and friendship.
What if your spouse does not want to come? Even if only one spouse comes alone, you will learn enough to improve the relationship.
This session is available during the day or evening.
Hope this inspires you to action.
A COUPLES TUNE-UP - 10 Ways to Improve ALL the Relationships in Your Life
Presenter: Janet McCredie
Location: The 10th Annual National Women's Show - Lansdowne Park, Ottawa, Canada
Date: September 27, 2009 at 10:30 a.m.
BOUNCING BACK FROM A BAD RELATIONSHIP on RealCoachingRadio.net
Interview Host: Donna Marie Thompson of Bouncing Back Now - Internet Interview TV Show
Interview Guest: Janet McCredie
Date: March 30, 2011 between 9:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.
"CHANGE FAVOURS A PREPARED MIND"
Presenter: Janet McCredie
Location: You Deserve It Conference - Centurion Centre, Ottawa, Canada
Date: November 18, 2011
FIND A COACH EXPO:
Panelist: Janet McCredie
Location: Richelieu Community Centre, Vanier, Ontario
Date: October 27, 2012